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Lady Gaga, Vampire

If there's a recurring image in American Horror Story: Hotel thus far, it's a blood-covered Lady Gaga having orgies that end in death.

It first happened in last week's "Checking In," and once again in "Chutes and Ladders," the second episode of the fifth iteration of AHS and an hour that shed a surprising amount of light on Gaga's killer Countess.

Not that there was much doubt before, but there's absolutely none now: Elizabeth, the countess of the Hotel Cortez, is very much a vampire and very much interested in attaining new lovers. Case in point: Tristan Duffy, a narcissistic male model with an unquenchable thirst for cocaine and an unreasonable hatred for Kendall Jenner. ("Bitch blew me off at Coachella," he reasons.)

Tristan, played by Freak Show veteran Finn Wittrock, falls on Elizabeth's radar during a fashion show at the hotel — and he in turn falls under her spell, becoming her latest vampire pet.

As she and Tristan make love throughout the night, Elizabeth helpfully dispels some rumors of the vampire lifestyle, clearing things up for her new boy toy and viewers alike. Rules include:

  • Whether it's silver bullets or stakes, vampires can be killed. "You're only immortal if you're smart," she says as she licks Tristan's chest.
  • No fangs. "We don't bite; we cut."
  • Choose your food sources carefully. "Never drink from the dead. Avoid the diseased, the feeble and the polluted."
  • Sunlight does not kill, but it sucks. Coffins aren't necessary; blackout curtains will do the trick. Welcome to 2015.
  • Most important of all: "Don't get caught, and don't fall in love. That's the part you save for me ... forever."



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